Untimely
by Kailey Hamilton
Summary: "Last time I tried to give you flowers, you said you had nothing to put them in. So I took the liberty to get you a vase as well." Roy is waging an internal war, and Riza is having none of it. Royai UST. Oneshot.


_Notes:_ _Um, hi. It has been long since I last ventured in a completely new fandom and it's a little bit overwhelming. There are little unspoken rules in every fandom, and I'm entirely unaware of the ones for this one. I've gone as far as to avoid fanfiction so far to form my own opinions. All I know is, I finished watching Brotherhood two nights ago; count me in and obsessed. Especially with these two._

 _Roy, Riza, you've been waiting for me all these years. I apologize for the delay. I might not be doing as good as a job as I'd like, but right now, I feel as if I was born to write for the two of you. I truly hope I'm doing you justice._

* * *

 **Untimely**

Roy hesitated before knocking on Riza's door.

 _Am I really doing this?_

Yes, was the answer. It's only fair. There was no point in hiding something that wasn't a secret, he would repeat to himself. But truth was, maybe he just couldn't find an answer on his own. Roy wasn't made for peace, after all. He was a human weapon, and peace had only turned all that warfare inward. There were less steps to claim, and now it was a waiting game. Life seemed more complicated when it wasn't a game of kill or be killed. Now there was peace, safety, and minor things to worry about. Things such as the matter at hand.

Meanwhile, Riza continued with life as if nothing had changed. She walked her dog twice every day, was never late for work, and spent her evenings in the quiet of her one-bedroom apartment. But, unlike she did before, she took a few days off every so often to spend with the friends she'd made along the difficult years. Her latest trip had been to Resembool, wishing to see Winry upon realizing the Elric brothers had been gone from the country for nearly three months.

There was no way Roy could reject Riza's request for leave. Her eyes lit up and her voice got sweeter every time she spoke of her young friend. He'd even gone as far as to imply he would give her a few more days off if she wanted to invite Winry to stay a few days in East City, but Riza had shaken her head.

"Don't use my absence as an excuse to slack, sir."

He'd tried his best. He really had. But little ever got done without Riza around. Not to mention...

His chest swelled when she finally opened the door, with a stoic expression but gleaming eyes. Her hair was down, her clothes were casual, and she held Black Hayate against her chest but struggled to keep him still.

War had turned inward, for sure, and so had the flames.

Riza had to say nothing, but a hard stare would demand every explanation. Her eyes didn't linger much on Roy, however. Not when he held a bouquet in one hand, and a respectable package on the other. The bouquet was a modest, careful arrangement of different flowers whose meaning she would surely know, and the package...

"Last time I tried to give you flowers, you said you had nothing to put them in. So I took the liberty to get you a vase as well."

Riza accepted the gift without much outward emotion. Black Hayate was finally free to greet Roy, as she let him down to take the bouquet from his hands. Once inside, she opened the package containing the vase, examining it slowly, before filling it with water. Black Hayate was promptly right by her feet, wagging his tail, curious about this new development. He then rushed back to Roy, who had taken a seat, uninvited. There was a leash on the table, a leash that normally had its own place in Riza's tidy little home. Good thing flowers were enough to make the dog forget about a delayed walk.

Black Hayate's happiness made Riza's movements seem even more paused, more nonchalant. It was almost as if she'd been waiting for this day to arrive, preparing for it. Roy wanted to believe there was a smile in that face that she wouldn't let him see, deliberately standing with her back to him as she arranged the flowers in the vase.

"I thank you for your gift, sir. But you shouldn't have done this."

"Are you telling me that you don't like them?"

Her answer came in a second too late.

"It doesn't matter whether I like them or not." She left the vase on the countertop, then turned around to face him. "What if...?"

She didn't complete her thought. He didn't need her to.

"If anything, I should be the one with those reservations."

"Exactly."

They went quiet. It wasn't an easy silence, and she was still not sitting down with him. There was no need for her to offer some coffee. He always accepted, so she busied herself with that simple task. Roy frowned, now that Riza was avoiding contact again, and kept observing her intently. He'd anticipated many reactions, but he hadn't expected her to be so ill at ease, distant even by her own standards. He looked for any sign of anything else she might be feeling. She gave away nothing, even as she finally sat down in front of him and slid him a cup of coffee.

"No more flowers, then." He took a sip from his cup. "That's a nice vase I got you. Forgive me if I'm rude, but it's just a shame it should sit empty."

Riza put down her own cup a little louder than necessary, frowning. The noise startled both him and Black Hayate, who barked at her three times for his troubles. But her eyes were fixed on Roy, and too late, he mused that maybe it wasn't the right time to get her riled up.

"If you wish me to quit... if you wish to fire me, just do it." He was going to interrupt indignantly, but she held up a hand to ask for his silence. "But if I'm gone, then I'm gone for good."

"I would _never_."

"Then what do you want me to say to this?" Her voice changed subtly, from irritation to weariness.

What Roy wanted — that was the problem. Roy wanted it all. Roy certainly wanted more than he could have. War hadn't truly ended. It raged, ostentatious, and he finally had to face the facts. There was no way of keeping this woman as the valuable subordinate she'd proved to be, and at the same time, loving her wholly and openly. No. He couldn't have both. It was either Captain Hawkeye or Riza, just Riza, as she hadn't been for too many years. And the choice laid with her.

However, Roy couldn't ignore it any longer. There was pride, so much pride, in being loved in return by such a remarkable woman. And yet, love was far down the list of reasons of why she did everything she did for him. Those matters didn't occupy Riza's mind altogether. Romance would never be a strong motivator for her to do anything, if sometimes even a hindrance. As it was now. Not only were these matters foreign to her, but he was her superior, the one handing out the orders. The fact that he perceived _her_ as superior to himself in many aspects didn't matter, when a hierarchy of the sort was in place.

It had seemed fair to let his intentions and feelings known. It wasn't a secret, and it couldn't do any harm. But now, what had seemed fair had revealed itself as unfair. Selfish. What was gained by making advances? Straying from their current situation would mean secrecy, which would eventually force her to quit if discovered. And what then? Could he work his way to the top without her? Probably not. Definitely not. And even from the most basic, the most pragmatic standpoint, it was Riza's job at stake. That's how she paid the bills and could afford a dog. That's the path Riza had chosen, and he had no right to jeopardize that.

How much of her restraint was it taking not to call him out on his greed?

"Captain..." He sighed, putting on a self-mocking smile. "I've tasked you with setting me straight if I ever stray from the righteous path. I'm surprised I don't have a gun pressed against my back." His little smile faded as the words became harder to say. "I'm sorry I always make it so troublesome. I'm sorry I keep making you go through difficult situations."

"It's alright. You've done worse." The unintended cruelty in her words was mellowed by a soft voice. Her expression had finally given way to kindness. She opened her mouth, as if to say something else, but closed it quickly and looked away.

Roy followed her gaze, shame threatening to creep up on him. Black Hayate's eyes were fixed on the table between Roy and Riza, where his leash remained untouched. The dog sat expectant, his tail brushing the floor.

 _Right._

"I've committed the additional sin of dropping in unannounced, then overstaying my welcome. I shall be going."

They got up together. Black Hayate stretched, then barked. Riza let out a little laugh as she kneeled and ordered him to sit, leash in hand. Roy allowed himself to observe her for a second longer, his heart beating faster than he cared to admit. All her uneasiness seemed to have dissipated in a matter of an instant, almost by magic, and it made the guilt sitting down on his stomach weigh more heavily. No, he shouldn't bother her any longer for the evening. It would be best if he kept his distance for a while, so as to prove that he respected her wishes.

He'd just opened the unlocked door when Riza spoke, now standing up.

"Sir, won't you join us?" Roy attempted to hide his surprise, but judging by Riza's raised eyebrows, he failed horribly. "You wanted to hear about my trip to Resembool, didn't you?"

"Ah, yes. Of course."

"It doesn't suit you to run away." Was she scolding him or taunting him? Either way, he'd never hear the end of it. Great.

"I'd call it a timely retreat, considering that you still accepted my gift."

Well, she had no answer to that one. He smirked, stepping out, expecting to be followed promptly. When that didn't happen, he turned around to see Riza facing the door she'd just locked, gripping her keys tightly. Black Hayate was pulling on the leash, but she wasn't budging.

"Just for future reference..." Riza whispered, barely audible above her dog's impatient growling. "For _future_ reference, sir, gardenias are my favorite flower."

Her face lacked any expression when she finally looked at him. Not even a faint blush, no sign of remorse. Roy froze in place. She slipped her keys into her pocket and walked past him, letting Black Hayate guide her and not bothering to wait. Did she just...?

"Are you still going to be here when I get back?" Riza didn't stop walking, yet her voice had a tiny hint of glee. So he didn't just imagine it.

As he caught up to her, he stole a sideways glance, just to find her doing the same. Neither of them was able to restrain a smile. After all, Riza had told him many times that she would follow him even to the depths of hell, with the knowledge that such devotion was mutual. But hell —or heaven— was far beyond their reach.

In the meantime, a walk around the block would have to do.


End file.
